Saturday, September 30, 2006

on miracles.

When it comes to the issue of miracles in relation to my faith in Christ, i tend to be a realist, even a skeptic at times. To be honest, it's difficult for me to believe that God can heal the sick, give the blind man sight, make the cripple walk, and the like. Whether it is because I doubt his ability or rather his desire to perform certain miracles among his people, i don't know. Talking about this issue always brings to mind an excerpt from one of my favorite books, the Brothers Karamazov, by Fyodor Dostoevsky:

"...but in my opinion miracles will never confound a realist. It is not miracles that bring a realist to faith. A true realist, if he is not a believer, will always find in himself the strength and ability not to believe in miracles as well, and if a miracle stands before him as an irrefutable fact, he will sooner doubt his own senses than admit the fact. And even if he does admit it, he will admit it as a fact of nature that was previously unknown to him. In the realist, faith is not born from miracles, but miracles from faith. Once the realist comes to believe, then, precisely because of his realism, he must allow for miracles. The Apostle Thomas declared that he would not believe until he saw, and when he saw, he said: “My Lord and my God!” Was it the miracle that made him believe? Most likely not, but he believed first and foremost because he wished to believe, and maybe already believed in his secret heart even as he was saying, 'I will not believe until I see."


This said, I would like to tell a story, at the special request of L, about something that happened to my friend, Chris Schotbourgh. About two months ago, he noticed a lump that had formed in his thigh (right, i think), and realized that the pain was increasing dramatically as the days passed. When he went to see his doctor, he was told that it was most likely cancer (probably lymphomic or non-lymphomic) and that they would have to do a biopsy to find out what and how far along it was. He had planned on going to a college retreat with his church that weekend, and since it takes about a week to get the results from the lab, the doctor said he could go, as long as he stayed in a wheelchair all weekend and was sure to take his pain medication. During the retreat, one of the pastor's gave a sermon about spiritual healing and gave an invitation afterward to anyone who needed specific prayer about anything. Chris asked one of the leaders to pray with him about his leg, and when he got back to his church group, they all prayed for him as well. As everyone was getting ready to go back to their hotel for the night, Chris realized that his leg, surprisingly, didn't hurt anymore. So for the rest of the weekend, he was able to walk instead of using the wheelchair, as the doctor had so firmly insisted upon.



The following week, the doctor's presented the disappointing results of the biopsy: it was cancer (non-lymphomic, which is the worse of the two) and it was already in the second stage. For some reason though, Chris wasn't satisfied with their answer, and demanded that they take another biopsy. Perhaps it was because he didn't want to have to begin the life-altering process of chemo with the slim possibility existing that they had been wrong in their analysis; or maybe it was because he was trying so hard to have faith that God would deliver him. Nonetheless, when the second results came back, the doctor's were completely puzzled by what they saw. No cancer. NO FRICKIN CANCER. A few weeks later, the lump went away on its own. He doesn't even have a scar from the massive cut they had to make in his thigh for the biopsy.


It is so easy to become unconvinced of the idea of miracles in our world, especially when shows like those (excuse the expression) God-forsaken, charismatic, fall-on-the-floor-fake-a-seizure-and-speak-a-little-tongue-until-youre-healed TBN broadcastings come on and the only way one knows to respond is to completely deny the existence of miracles in general. But there's something so different about knowing someone who goes through a healing process. It becomes real and undeniable; fact, really. Most of us don't know how to accept miracles because we don't know how to deal with things that don't make sense, things that we can't explain. Us realists, we need a proof. We need something telling us why 2+2 didn't equal 4 this time around. But miracles don't give us that, and so we reject them. Well, sometimes things can't be rejected that easily; sometimes, we are faced with situations where we are forced to reconsider what we once thought was true, solid fact. I am convinced, not only that Christ is the ultimate Reality and that He loves me, but also that God, in his infinite mercy and grace, can and does work miracles in the lives of his people.


Miracles and truth are necessary because the whole man must be convinced, in body and soul.

-Blaise Pascal

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

it is funny that Dostoevsky mentions this only because so many of his characters (and characters he admires and often alludes to) are at least somewhat significantly detached from reality. Goliadkin, Prince Myshkin, many of Gogol's characters and Raskolnikov name the most obvious.

my only criticism, is that (excuse me if i am uncharitable, but i suppose hume and locke will do this to someone) why should we think we are even able to identify an event as a miracle? maybe the miracle in chris' life would have been his metamorphosis as he suffered through the treatment. not that i wish chris unbearable suffering in his life, (not unless he is exceptionally bad, or maybe even, a homosexual). that was a joke.
but no, really, i am happy for chris. and i love gay people.