70 Arguments Against the Existence of God

1. The Dawkins Argument
a) You can't disprove God
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

2. The Schmawkins Argument
a) Thor (or Poseidon, or insert misc. Greek god) doesn't exist
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

3. The Dawkins Argument (part deuce)
a) You can't disprove Thor (or Poseidon, or insert misc. Greek god)
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

4. The Dawkins Argument (remix)
a) You can't disprove Thor (or Poseidon, or insert misc. Greek god)
b) You can't disprove God
c) Thor (or Poseidon, or insert misc. Greek god) doesn't exist
d) Therefore God doesn't exist either

5. Dawkins' Last Word
a) You're an atheist about every god but the one that actually exists
b) Therefore not even your God exists

6. The Problem of Evil
a) God is good
b) Evil exists
c) I cannot imagine a single reason why God would allow evil, even temporarily
d) Therefore God doesn't exist

7. The Argument from Divine Hiddenness
a) I can't see God
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

8. The Physicalist's Argument
a) The only things that exist are physical
b) God is not physical
c) Therefore God does not exist

9. The Empiricist's Argument
a) The only things that exist are those that can be seen, tasted, felt, smelt, or heard.
b) I have never seen, tasted, felt, smelt, or heard God
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

10. The Naturalists Argument
a) The only things that exist are natural
b) God is supernatural
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

11. Argument from the Plurality of Religions
a) There are multiple religions
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

12. The Scientismists Argument
a) Scientists are working very hard to figure out the cause of the universe
b) Therefore the cause of the universe is not God
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

13. The Argument from the Apparent Absence of Miracles
a) I have never seen a miracle
b) Therefore miracles don't exist
c) God doesn't exist either, by the way

14. The Moral Argument
a) People can try to be good on their own
b) Therefore people don't need God to be good
c) The only thing we would need God for is to help us be good
d) Therefore we don't need God
e) Therefore God doesn't exist

15. The Argument from Evolution
a) A large number of scientists believe that humans evolved from monkeys
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

16. Argument from the Bible
a) I don't understand (insert two arbitrary, out of context, passages from the Bible)
b) Therefore the Bible contains contradictions
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

17. The Skeptic's Argument
a) I have never seen God
b) Therefore I shouldn't believe in Him

18. Agnostic's Argument
a) It is possible that a necessary being exists
b) Therefore God exists in at least one possible world
c) If God exists at all, He exists in all possible worlds
d) Therefore He exists in this world, too
e) Oh crap, that means I'm not agnostic anymore
f) Therefore God doesn't exist in this world
g) Therefore God doesn't exist at all
h) Oh crap, now I'm an atheist...
i) I don't know whether the concept of God is coherent
j) Oh crap, that means I lack the capacity to conceive of God
k) I am fully capable of partially conceiving of God
l) But it is impossible for anyone to ever know whether or not there is a logical contradiction in the concept of God

19. The Burden Shifter
a) I have never heard a good argument for God's existence
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

20. The Ad Hominem
a) People from (insert religion) killed other people
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

21. The Hitlerum
a) Hitler was a Christian
b) Hitler killed Jews
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

22. The Return of the Ad Hominem
a) A person from (insert religion) gave a bad argument for God's existence
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

23. Argument from Authority
a) (Insert authority) says that God doesn't exist
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

24. Argument from Authority (part deuce)
a) (Insert authority) says that the arguments for God's existence are getting fewer every day
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

25. Argument from Ignorance
a) Science may not be able to explain (insert mysterious phenomenon highlighted by the theist)
b) We are committed to finding an explanation of it that does not include God
c) Therefore God is not needed to explain physical phenomenon
d) Therefore God doesn't exist

26. Argument from Ignorance (part deuce)
a) (Theist gives good argument for God's existence)
b) I can't understand (a)
c) Therefore it is not a good argument
d) Therefore God doesn't exist

27. Argument from Mathematics
a) (Atheist produces complex mathematical formula cut/pasted from a Quentin Smith article)
b) Therefore the universe came from nothing and was not caused
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

28. Argument from the Internet
a) (Atheist links to some website)
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

29. Argument from Poor Design
a) God designed things to be good
b) There is no possible way things could have gotten screwed up
c) Things are screwed up
d) Therefore God doesn't exist

30. Argument from the Justice System
a) (Insert court ruling) ruled that God is not (existent, personal, etc.)
b) Therefore God does not exist

31. Argument from Quantum Physics
a) Subatomic particles come into existence because of energy fluctuations
b) Therefore the universe came into existence from nothing without cause
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

32. Argument from Sin
a) Sinning feels good
b) God is the opposite of sin
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

33. Argument from Porn
a) I like to look at porn
b) If God exists then I should stop
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

34. Argument from Non-belief
a) A small percentage of people refuse to believe in God
b) I cannot imagine a reason why God would allow disbelief
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

35. Argument from the Difficulty to Understand Omnipotence
a) Can God create a rock too big for Him to lift?
b) (Theist explains why it is a wrongheaded question)
c) That's stupid. God doesn't exist.

36. Argument from Rude Atheology
a) I can't understand how God can be both omniscient and omnipotent
b) Therefore the concept of God is incoherent
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

37. Argument from Free Will
a) Man has free will, despite the fact that physicalism makes this an incoherent claim
b) Therefore God can't know the future, even if He is outside of time or whatever
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

38. The Transcendental Argument Against the Existence of God
a) (Insert incoherent babble)
b) Theist can't refute (a)
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

39. The Chicken or the Egg Argument
a) God created the universe
b) I cannot understand that God is outside of frickin time
c) Therefore something must have created God, and something must have created it, etc.
d) An infinite regress is impossible
e) Therefore God doesn't exist

40. The Universe is my God
a) The universe is outside of time, despite the fact that it is made up of physical parts that are necessarily time-bound and even though this makes no sense I am going to assert it and hope that you mistake incoherence for intelligence
b) Therefore nothing else can be outside of time, not even God
c) Therefore God is in time
d) Therefore God doesn't exist

41. The Argument from Stupidity
a) God is too big for me to understand
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

42. The "Cop-out" Accusation
a) Invoking God's existence to explain the creation of the universe makes sense
b) Therefore it is a cop-out
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

43. The Cop-out
a) Science does not agree on how the universe came into existence
b) But there MUST be an explanation besides God
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

44. The Intelligent Design Argument Against God's Existence
a) Cars and computers are intelligently designed
b) Humans are more complex than cars and computers
c) We know humans are NOT intelligently designed
d) We, possessing intelligence, cannot produce a human
e) Therefore intelligence is not a favorable trait for a creator
f) God is intelligent
g) Therefore God is not the creator of humans, because only a creator with favorable traits could perform such a feat
h) Therefore God does not exist

45. The Argument from Theological Noncognitivism
a) You can't prove God exists
b) I can't imagine a single reason why this would be so
c) Therefore God does not exist

46. The Argument from Atemporality
a) God is outside of time
b) We are inside of time
c) There is no way that God could be inside of time, too
d) Therefore God could not have created us
e) At least, there is no way for Him to interact with us
f) Therefore God does not exist

47. The Existential Argument Against the Existence of God
a) Existence comes before essence
b) My name is Sartre and I didn't read Aquinas' writings about God's essence being the same as His existence
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

48. The Argument from Aseity
a) God needs nothing
b) I cannot imagine why God would do anything voluntarily
c) Creation is something God did
e) Therefore God does not exist

49. The Argument from Democracy
a) The truth of a proposition is not necessitated by a vote of the people
b) Many people believe the proposition 'God exists'
c) God's existence is not necessitated by this
d) Therefore God does not exist

50. Argument from Pomp
a) I am smart enough to see that it is properly basic to disbelieve in God
b) You believe in God
c) Therefore all you theists are stupid
d) Therefore God exists - whoops, I mean God doesn't exist

51. Argument from Humility
a) I am not as smart as (insert any of the hundreds of mathematicians, scientists, and philosophers throughout history who believed in God), but my science book says that God doesn't exist
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

52. Argument from a Coloring Book
a) This chart (insert link to a graphic chart of illustrated dinosaurs) illustrates how everything evolved
b) Therefore God doesn't exist

53. Argument from Exclusion from the Atheistic Community at Large
a) A scientific theory becomes so only when it survives being published in a peer reviewed journal
b) The only peer reviewed journals that are acceptable are the ones atheists edit and review
c) Atheists would never publish an ID article in a scientific journal because ID is not a scientific theory
d) Therefore Intelligent Design is not a scientific theory
e) Therefore God does not exist

54. Argument from Acceptance
a) Denouncing God's existence makes my peers accept me
b) Therefore God does not exist

55. Argument from Suicide
a) Believing in God is professional suicide for the humanist
b) I want to be a scientist
c) Therefore God does not exist

56. Argument from Fear
a) It makes me uncomfortable to believe in a God who might judge me
b) Therefore God does not exist

57. Argument from Hate
a) God is love
b) I hate everyone because I am miserable without God
c) Therefore God does not exist

58. Argument from Post-Modernism
a) Truth is made, not discovered
b) I made up the proposition that God does not exist
c) Therefore God does not exist

59. Argument from Post-Modernism (II)
a) Truth is relative
b) I am not God (at least, I'm pretty sure I'm not)
c) I can't know anything outside myself
d) Therefore God does not exist

60. Argument from Tolerance
a) If truth is objective, then you and I can't both be right
b) If you are right then I am wrong
c) You are not being tolerant you bigot
d) Therefore God does not exist

61. Argument from Tolerance (round two)
a) If you make any definite claim about reality then you are not tolerant
b) You are making a definite claim about reality
c) Therefore you are not tolerant
d) Oh yeah, and God doesn't exist

62. Argument for Religious Pluralism
a) All religions are true
b) Your religion says that it is the only true one
c) Therefore your religion is false

63. Argument from Sadism
a) I cannot grasp how one man could pay for another man's sins
b) Jesus died for my sins at the will of His Father
c) Therefore God is a sadist
d) Therefore God doesn't exist

64. Argument from Nihilism
a) Steve died a theist
b) Steve no longer exists
c) Therefore there is no afterlife
d) Therefore God does not frickin exist

65. Argument from Post-Death Experience
a) Jon died and came back and the Dr. said that he had only actually fallen unconscious
b) Therefore there is no afterlife
c) Therefore God does not exist

66. Argument from Assertion
a) (Theist gives a good argument for God's existence)
b) God does not exist
c) (Theist asks for support for atheists truth claim)
d) You are making a claim too, so prove it
e) (Theist points to (a))
f) God does not exist
g) GOD DOES NOT EXIST
h) Therefore God does not exist

67. Argument from Ancient Literature
a) Literature predating the Bible contains themes present in the Bible
b) We should ignore the fact that these themes correspond to real permanent and profound concepts inherent in reality such as friendship, good and evil, and sacrifice.
c) We should also ignore the fact that if Christianity is true, then it would make sense that a personal Devil would want to counterfeit these concepts to lead astray the fools
d) Therefore it is obvious that the Bible was ripped off from earlier pagan literature
e) Therefore God doesn't exist

68. Argument from Age
a) The arguments for God's existence have been around forever and should be considered archaic and obsolete
b) Therefore they are false
c) Therefore God doesn't exist

69. Argument from Stubbornness
a) Theists and atheists have been debating for millennia
b) Atheists still exist because they refuse to see the truth
c) Therefore the issue has never been solved
d) Therefore God does not exist

70. Argument from Division
a) Christianity has lots of denominations
b) They can't all be right
c) Therefore none of them are right
d) Therefore God does not exist